Voting as a Collegiate…

Now I am going to assume that as college students, you all know that there is a presidential election coming up very soon; next month, in fact. As college students, however, you have probably been too busy studying for midterms, etc., to keep up with the candidates. I will catch you up, but I will keep this brief as you probably have an event to picket soon.

For starters, there are two candidates running against each other and although they look very different, their views are pretty much the same. That is to say, they have to disagree on some things or else their televised “debates” would just be a conversation of pleasantries. And kindness can appear weak on TV. And as we all know, weakness really isn’t that marketable in the political world. So basically, all you need to know is that both candidates want bigger government and neither of them want you to have any say on what you do with your money or life savings. Think about it this way: you may not have any say over what goes on in your personal life, but you can take comfort in knowing that both of these men care for you in a personal way. You heard them talk about Joe the plumber: that could have just as easily been you.

So basically, if you like socialism and all the warm fuzzy feelings associated with it, voting at all is a win-win situation for America! It is not often that the same outcome is guaranteed with two such seemingly different candidates. So if the candidates really aren’t any different, which one do you vote for? Good question. This is where you get to have a hand in establishing your own personal reputation. It’s really quite simple: If you don’t want to be considered racist, you vote for Obama. If you don’t want to be considered sexist, vote for McCain (this may be confusing to you as McCain is a man and sexism usually refers to women. That is an excellent observation. I say “sexist” because I forgot to mention earlier that Sarah Palin is not only a woman, but also John McCain’s running mate. Furthermore, rumors have been spreading in and outside of the college walls that McCain is getting up there in years and there is a good chance that you could get a female president even though you voted for a man. Confusing, I know).

So it’s up to you, racist or sexist. It’s a sad election when your choice can only bring out your flaws. But in the end, America wins and what more could you ask for?